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Batman!Simon - The Beginning.

A work by : Pippa, Katrina and Emily, non-existant Foreward by Megan.

Dramatus Personae:


The Mysterious Mr. C

Evil Chatspeak

English Teachers

The Simonettes

Philosophy Professor

Fish Mafia

The SLCs (Silly Little Chou Chous)






Castle Virgins

Mama Duck and her Ducklings

Thomasina Weasley

Tiffany (villain)



East Sussex.  Herstmonceux.  Castle.  Mysterious Underworld.  ‘Nuff said.

Also, Pevensey Castle.


Important facts:


  • Batman’s various weapons and tools:
    • The Aluminium Tray of Justice
    • The *snap*
    • Series of confusing Wales t-shirts
    • Duck sidekicks with extremely pointy teeth
    • The Ladder, his partner in Climb
    • British Slang
    • Skanky shoes
    • Badgers (an illusionary tactic)
    • The Time Turner


  • Batman’s mission:
    • To save the ducklings from Mr. C
    • To save the castle virgins from Mr. C


  • People helping Batman along the way:
    • The wishing tree’s guiding voice (john the gardener)
    • The SLCs, a.k.a. Silly Little Chou Chou’s
    • The English Profs
      • The only match for the Evil Chatspeak
      • Using their alliteration  and reciting Shakespeare skillz abilities (Giuseppe suggests Emily Dickinson, Vala declines because all her poetry can be sung to the Gilligan’s Island theme song)
      • Eventually capture and kill the Evil Chatspeak with their good grammar and knowledge of poetry, they bury him in the Shakespeare Garden.
    • The Fish Mafia
      • Although more of an independent group, they can be bought for a price, and serve as a mercenary army in times of great need, as they have a deep respect for Batman!Simon.


  • Batman’s Enemies (in order of evil and threat posed):
    • The Mysterious Mr. C who dresses in a cyan-coloured skin-tight costume
      • Weapons include:
        • Strobe light
        • Unattended drink grenade
        • Pressing the ‘panic button’
        • cyantologeeee
    • Insanely creepy ‘Mr. Hands on a lot’
    • The Evil Chatspeak


In the land of Britain, in a small village, somewhat right of centre-bottom, lies a castle.  A castle that hides a hidden power of doom and delight. 


The castle, innocent, with a moat, ducks, some fishes and badgers is actually a fortress, hiding a man with the powers to correct the evils of the world.  A bat who thinks he’s a man?  A man who associates with bats?  A bat man…if you will, fully equipped with a Batcave and everything!


The story of the emergence of Batman!Simon is a long, sordid tale of revenge, lies, and rage.  It’s actually a pretty damn good one, but it shan’t be delved into here.  Well, I suppose this one titbit won’t hurt…


Somewhere in Brighton, a Hospital:






DOCTOR: …Well, I’m delighted to inform you that you have a son.  However, most unusually…


SIMON’S MUM: What?  What’s wrong with my baby?!


DOCTOR: Nothing, per se…he just seems to be wearing a … mask.  A black mask.   …And a cape.


SIMON’S MUM: He’s just special!  Don’t judge!



Stay Tuned for following episodes of BATMAN!SIMON
Current Location:
memory lane
Current Mood:
accomplished accomplished
Current Music:
Summer of '69
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On October 28th, 2006 08:46 pm (UTC), (Anonymous) commented:
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[User Picture]
On October 28th, 2006 09:26 pm (UTC), hufflepuffia commented:
or what if the doctor was THE DOCTOR?!
[User Picture]
On October 30th, 2006 05:23 pm (UTC), katrinaswift replied:
Well, we'd need a doctor who knew about this sort of stuff...
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