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Batman!Simon Episodes I and II

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Episode I:


BATMAN!SIMON: Chlamydia, Chlamydia, Chlamydia…no, it’s not a flower…Chlamydia, Chlamydia, Chlamydia, Chlamydia, 1 out of 4 = Chlamydia.  To conclude?  CHLAMYDIA.


FIRST YEARS: …Eek!  So, never going clubbing…like ever.


BATMAN!SIMON: Oh, and British guys are rather…hands on.  A lot.  Claude will now demonstrate. Pretend he’s 35, bald, ugly, and uncoordinated.


CLAUDE: *gropes creepily Erin and Allison*




BATMAN!SIMON: So, moving swiftly on, whatever you do, don’t press the panic button!


Tiffany: What?  This thing?


BATMAN!SIMON: NOOOOOO!  Don’t press it!


Tiffany: *sinister giggle*


Meanwhile in Pevensey Castle…


Mysterious Mr. C: Ooer, a Panic Button.  That’s very interesting.  I wonder what would happen if I pressed it…?

Episode II


A mysterious note is found.  Whatever can it mean?


I have stolen the castle’s virgins, and the ducks.  You can only save one.


Toujours te tien,

The Mysterious Mr. C


BATMAN!SIMON: Oh noes!  Whatever are we going to do?


EBL: My, my, it seems that this is a dilemma.  By definition, a dilemma is, in effect, an argument that presents two alternative courses of action, both claimed, in effect, to be bad.


BATMAN!SIMON: Thanks there EBL, glad you could - er - help…?

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On October 30th, 2006 03:26 pm (UTC), emmo5 commented:
what's that thing Simon said all the time, besides "dodgy"? Like "so there you go..." or something.

Angela's mum was here yesterday and she's scottish! YAY ACCENTS
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